The Vow before the Vow

_{A Premarital Intensive for Intercultural & Immigrant Couples}

You may be at the right place if…

• Your families have different expectations, about the wedding, holidays, money, or how involved they’ll be
• One of you is navigating visas, status, or the distance from a home country
• You love each other’s culture, but some differences still catch you off guard
• You sometimes feel caught between loyalty to your family and loyalty to your partner
• You’ve wondered how you’ll raise future children between languages and traditions

What may become possible if you join me…

• Understanding each other more deeply, including how culture, family, and language shape the way each of you loves.
• A life plan you’ve created together, and a way to keep working with it.
• The ability to talk about difficult things without losing each other.
• Knowing that hiccups are part of the path, and that recommitment is part of every lasting marriage.
• And perhaps some relief: you’re not “bad at relationships.” Often we choose the partner who can help us grow most.

Why before the vow

Between the yes and the wedding, you’re imagining a life together, and that’s often when its full complexity appears. Wedding planning alone can bring it to the surface: whose traditions to honor, which language the ceremony is in, who pays for what, how involved each family will be, and whether loved ones abroad can even travel to attend.

Beyond the wedding, questions about families, finances, immigration, and where home will be begin asking to be decided. Patterns are still forming. It’s the best time to understand each other, and to choose, rather than inherit, the shape of your life together.

A therapy intensive, not a premarital course

Premarital courses offer helpful general guidance, often the same for every couple. This intensive is shaped around the two of you: your families, your cultures, your languages, and your experience of immigration. It’s led by a licensed psychotherapist, so when something deeper surfaces, such as old family pain, cultural loss, or fear about the future, there’s room to work with it, not just talk about it.

How we work

As a certified Imago Relational Therapist, I guide couples through a structured way of talking with each other. At first it can feel formal, even formulaic. But the structure is what makes depth possible: many couples are surprised by what they discover once they settle into it.

The work asks for some willingness to be emotionally open. I pay close attention to what’s happening in each of you, including in the body, so we can slow down when something becomes too much, and stay with it when something important is emerging.

What we’ll explore together

Family stories and cultural inheritance · migration, belonging, and home · language and how each of you expresses love · money, roles, and expectations · conflict and repair · extended family and boundaries · faith and traditions · the life you want to build

Process and Cost

Consultation. A 30-minute conversation with both of you, to decide together whether the intensive is a good fit. This is a paid consultation of $100 credited toward your program if we move forward.

Preparation (online). Each of you completes a questionnaire and meets with me individually once, so I can understand each of your histories before we begin together.

The intensive (in person). A full day together on a Sunday: 6 hours of focused work, with breaks and lunch built in. We begin by setting shared intentions, then go deeper from there.

Integration. A follow-up session 2–4 weeks later, to see how your plan is living in your daily life.

Investment. $2,700 for the full program, including two individual preparation sessions, the full-day intensive, and the integration session. The $100 consultation fee is credited toward this total.

Payment and cancellation. A 50% deposit reserves your Sunday, with the balance due one week before the intensive. Because a full day is difficult to rebook, the intensive can be rescheduled or cancelled with at least 14 days’ notice.

Intensives are currently offered on Sundays. See details for all therapy intensives →

Payment and Cancellation

Payment. The $100 consultation fee is paid when booking the consultation and credited toward your total. A deposit of $1,350 reserves your Sunday, and the remaining balance of $1,250 is due one week before the intensive.

Cancellation and refunds. The $100 consultation fee is non-refundable. Individual preparation sessions that have already taken place are also non-refundable.

With at least 14 days’ notice before the intensive, any amount you’ve paid for work that hasn’t yet happened will be refunded. With less than 14 days’ notice, the deposit is non-refundable, because a full Sunday is difficult to rebook.

For example: if you cancel with more than 14 days’ notice after both individual sessions have taken place, you’ll receive your deposit minus the cost of those two sessions ($600), a refund of $750.

Is this right for you?

A good fit if you’ve said yes or are seriously considering marriage, you both want to be here, and you’re willing to try a structured way of talking, even when it feels unfamiliar.

Not the right fit if there’s violence, coercion, or a safety concern in the relationship, or if one partner is being pressured to attend.

If your relationship is in a volatile period, with conflicts that escalate and that you struggle to recover from on your own, ongoing couples therapy may be a better place to begin. A premarital intensive works best when you already have some way of finding your way back to each other.

Both partners need to be located in New York or Texas for the online sessions. The full-day intensive takes place in person in Midtown Manhattan, so couples from Texas are welcome as long as they can travel to New York.

Why I do this work

I’m an immigrant, and English is my second language. I know from the inside what it means to build a life far from home, and how some things are hard to say in a language you learned later.

For years, I’ve worked with intercultural and interracial couples, and I’m familiar with the immigration system and its processes.

As a certified Imago Relational Therapist, I offer couples a clear structure for talking about what matters most. I also bring years of experience in somatic work, attending to what’s happening in each of your bodies, not just in your words. When a conversation stirs something deep, that awareness helps us slow down, stay present, and let real change take hold. My training in Gestalt and psychoanalytic psychotherapy adds depth to both.

When legal questions arise, I can connect you with experienced immigration attorneys I trust. I don’t provide legal advice myself.